Looking for funny Dachshund Jokes to share with fellow dog lovers? Here’s our favourites that you can use for birthday cards, special occasions or just to make someone laugh.

Dachshund Jokes Number 1

A German Shepherd, Labrador and a dachshund all died and they are waiting in front of God.

God asks all the dogs what they believe in.

God asked The German Shepherd “What do you believe in?”

The German Shepherd answers: “I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my owner.”
“Great,” says God, “take a seat on my left side.”

“Labrador, what do you believe in?” Asks God.

The Labrador answers: “I believe in fun, play, and loving my owner.”

“Ah,” God said, “You can come sit at my right side.”

Then he looks at the dachshund: “And how about you?”

The dachshund hops up on the throne, curls up in a little ball and says, “I believe you’re in my seat!”

Dachshund Joke Number 2

Do you know why Dachshunds always nap in the shade?

Because they don’t like being hot dogs.

Dachshund Jokes Number 3

What do you call a dachshund that has been left outside in the cold for an extended period of time?

A chili dog.

Dachshund Joke Number 4

My dachshund is so smart.

No matter where I park my car, he’ll always find it in the barking lot.

Dachshund Jokes Number 5

What do you give a dachshund with a fever.

Mustard…it’s the best thing for a hot dog.

Dachshund Joke Number 6

Did you hear about the dumb cowboy that got a dachshund?

Someone told him “get along little doggie.”

Dachshund Jokes Number 7

What’s a dog’s dream car?

A Dachshund 240Z.

Dachshund Jokes Number 8

How do you stop your dachshund from barking in your front yard?

Put him in your backyard.

Dachshund Joke Number 9

Why is a noisy yappy dachshund like a tree?

They both have a lot of bark.

Dachshunds Joke Number 10

What should you do when your dachshund chews your dictionary?

Take the words right out of his mouth.

Dachshunds Jokes Number 11

Why do dachshunds hate telemarketing calls?

They don’t like being hounded.

Dachshund Jokes Number 12

What do dachshunds and phones have in common?

They both have Collar ID.